Last week, I shared the question that haunted me for nearly fifty years.
Why does one person live an extraordinary life while another, with equal talent and opportunity, settles for average or below?
After spending the past thirty years studying many of the world’s greatest achievers—and applying those lessons in my own life—I discovered something fascinating.
Extraordinary people don’t simply do different things. They see the world differently.
Their behavior is merely the visible expression of how they think. What’s even more intriguing is that the way they learned to think was itself learned. Like all human beings, we’re born with special talents, gifts, and abilities unique to each of us; however, how we perceive and navigate the world we live in is learned.
It’s not something you’re either born with or not.
This is probably the single most important distinction to understand for anyone seeking to discover their full potential. No matter where you are at this point in your life, if the results you’ve produced thus far are not what you want or have dreamed about, you can change your future by changing the way you think.
During this time of study, reflection, and application, I identified seven principles that consistently distinguished ordinary lives from extraordinary ones. This week, let’s begin with the first—and perhaps the most important.
Get clear on what lights you up.
Now, before you dismiss this as another article about “finding your passion,” stay with me. I’m talking about something much deeper. I’m referencing deep-seated knowingness that has you realize you’re living a life you absolutely love.
You love it so much that you don’t think of it as work vs. play because, to you, you’re always doing both. This is when you’re inspired and excited to tackle the day and all its accompanying tasks because you know it brings you one step closer to the goals you’ve set to demonstrate your continued mastery of what you love.
To accomplish something measurable and be in the top 10% at a minimum, you’re going to have to do what 90% of those involved with it at varying levels simply will not do. The only way you’ll do this is if you don’t need motivation to do it. The very act of this “thing that lights you up” is so fulfilling that you wouldn’t want to do anything else.
One of the greatest tragedies in life isn’t failing.
It’s succeeding at something that doesn’t light you up.
Think about that.
How many people spend forty years climbing a ladder…only to find it’s leaning against the wrong wall? They may become successful, earn money, and gain public admiration, yet something still feels missing.
Why?
Because achievement can never replace alignment. The world’s highest performers have an unusual clarity about who they are, what they value, and why they exist. Their work isn’t simply what they do. It’s an extension of who they are.
When you discover what truly lights you up, work no longer feels like work.
Problems become puzzles, obstacles become opportunities, and long hours become energizing rather than exhausting.
People often ask me, “How do I know what lights me up?” Here’s my answer.
Pay attention.
When do you completely lose track of time?
What conversations never seem long enough?
What books can’t you put down?
What problems do you love solving?
Who are you naturally drawn to help?
What work would you gladly do even if nobody applauded?
Those are clues. Life has a way of leaving breadcrumbs for those willing to pay attention. So does extraordinary purpose. You see, I don’t believe God gave each of us gifts just to make a living. I believe He gave us gifts to make a difference.
When your gifts intersect with your passions, your passions align with serving others, and your work becomes an expression of who you were created to be, you stop chasing success, and success starts chasing you.
Looking back on my life, I see that every major breakthrough came after I became crystal clear about what truly lit me up. Not what impressed people. Not what paid the most. Not what everyone else thought I should do. What lit me up.
Because you will never build an extraordinary life by living someone else’s dream. Next Friday, we’ll explore the second principle that extraordinary people consistently live by.
Every extraordinary life begins with one courageous decision: To stop living by default and start living by design.
Until then, ask yourself one question:
What truly lights me up…and what would my life look like if I had the courage to pursue it?
Be Larger Than…
